Traditions are being challenged. The norm is no longer the norm and new ideas are being born. Is this a political blog post on a wedding site? Heck no! I have been wanting to blog about this for a long time. It is something I run into with almost every wedding I coordinate. For years the mother of the bride did much of the planning. The couple followed in this tradition and weddings looked very similar, aside from the color pallet.
Today, couples are foregoing their own way. They choose traditions that mean something to them and decide what their wedding will say about each other. I adore this and wouldn’t love my job nearly as much if I did the same wedding every weekend. I love that couples are thinking outside of the box along with thinking about why what they are doing is special and important. Don’t get me wrong, I love tradition and think that there are some beautiful ways to incorporate it throughout the wedding day. However, not all tradition is fitting for every couple. As you can see in my Redecorate Tradition Posts, I feel couples should choose personal traditions that represent them together. If it is the usual wedding tradition that resonates with them, go for it, if not, skip it.
The problem here is that parents have seen these traditions for years. What is a wedding without the bouquet toss? What do you mean there won’t be cake? You’re serving WHAT for dinner? With couples trying to be as creative as possible in their wedding, it can cause a lot of tension between parents whom may or may not be paying for the day.
My best advice? Discuss these things early. If your parents are footing the bill (or even if they are not) ask them how involved they want to be. Find out what three things they really want to see on the wedding day. Having these discussions early will help prevent hard feelings down the road.
It’s a tough road to navigate! Having a planner can truly help with this area of coordinating. They can point out solutions you may not have thought about, give alternatives to old traditions, and be a sounding board along the way. In the end, your parents will be happy just to see you happy and if you can throw a tradition or two in along the way, even better!